Beta-Male

Aug 13, 2007 at 1:21 AM
9 comments

Yesterday during a Sunday afternoon in the Mission I was walking down 24th street with my dear friend Eleanor. I stopped her for a moment to snap a picture of her in this nice light that exists on a side street, since I don't have a picture of her. As this is occurring a man in a pickup truck yells "NICE TITS!" maybe a "WOOO!" was thrown in there, but I'm not sure.

"Did he really just say that to you?" I asked.

"Yep."

"You should really be flattered by all this attention you are receiving."

We walked a little bit further and strolled into the coffee shop. I turned to here and said

"By not running over and pulling that guy out of his truck and bashing his head against the pavement, and or closing his head in the car door repeatedly, have I abdicated my role as "the alpha-male"?"

"Quite possibly, you should hang your head in shame." She noted dryly.

" I guess that is the role that I am supposed to play then, you know, the beta-male. I think that I'm going to have shirts made that just say BETA MALE. This will quash any expectations of chivalry from the opposite sex, I mean I don't want to get anyone's hopes up."

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[this is good]

This has happened to me a couple of times when I'm out with guys. Most memorably, with this one fellow, M., whom I dated one summer several years ago, as we were walking back from his car to my apartment, standing on the corner of Wilshire Blvd in the Miracle Mile around 11 at night, some guys driving by yell something along the lines of what was said to your friend, Eleanor. M. was taken aback that they'd do that with him standing right next to me. We had a very similar conversation after the fact. ("Does that happen a lot?" "Do they not care that I'm right here?" &c.) I believe the word "emasculated" came up. He forgot all about that once we got back to my apartment, though. :)

[this is good]

PS -- I wanna see those shirts on Neighborhoodies, ASAP.

Well, at least you weren't a total Vinnie about it though!

Is there a middle ground I can aspire to? Perhaps I should start carrying a large revolver on a shoulder holster, then when these types of situations arise, or jehovas witnesses come to the door, I can expose it and tilt my head slightly while giving them "that look", come on, you know, that look I get.

I think that would be a pretty good middle ground. Silent yet assertive. Nice.

I'd go with a vintage pistol holder though.

But did you forget about it? I guess so since you guys like, totally mugged down.

Dudes are such fuckerz, man...

I'd like to order a t-shirt now please!

Are you sure? You will be subjected to mockery by every female in the tri-county area.

Beta-Male

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